"The Doctor Will See You Now": Tips to Help You Advocate for Yourself (and Your Bladder)

When it comes to bladder health, the struggle is real. Whatever you are experiencing - the odd leak, an occasional gush or urgent dashes to the loo, it’s important that we feel confident and prepared when speaking to our GP or specialists for help, support and treatment. 

Sadly, the reality in 2025 is that appointments are extremely time limited, waitlists long, and doctors are overworked. This combination means that too often, women feel that they don’t have enough time or the ability to really express concerns and worries about their condition. 

So how can we find a way to feel heard - if it feels like the system feels stacked against us?

How to prepare for your appointment

From the first appointment with your GP, to specialist referrals, being well prepared for your appointments can make all the difference and help us express not only the main concerns and symptoms we’re experiencing, but also offer an insight into the longer term challenges we face. Many of us experience a sort-of ‘white coat syndrome’, and feel intimidated by the professional sitting in front of us to the point we feel unable to articulate ourselves when put on the spot. So how can we overcome these challenges?

A good idea is to start keeping a bladder diary for at least 1-2 weeks before the appointment. Track how often you go to the toilet, any leaks, urgency, or pain, and note what you were doing at the time. If you’ve noticed that some foods and drinks affect your bladder and frequency of loo trips or leaks, then note that too. This is all useful information for your doctor, and will help you focus and prioritise on the main issues without relying on your memory. 

It’s also useful to make a list of the key symptoms you experience - whether on paper, in your journal or on your Notes app on your phone. Note all of the key symptoms you experience, and how often they are affecting you, day to day. Rather than saying “ I go to the loo a lot”, this can help us be more specific - ie. “I wake three to four times a night to pee, and I’ve experienced two leaks this week alone.” Framing symptoms in terms of their impact - whether that’s interrupted sleep, difficulty exercising, or needing to plan your days out around public toilets - helps your doctor to understand the severity of your issue. 

Understanding how your doctor can help you

Have you ever been referred to a specialist but don’t really understand their job title, or what they actually do? If so, you won’t be alone - add in a bit of medical jargon and it’s all very confusing!

GPs (General Practitioners) are the ‘first point of contact’. They will assess your symptoms, rule out infections, and refer you to specialists if needed. While they may not be bladder health experts, they can order initial tests and treatments, including medication or pelvic floor physiotherapy. Specialists that they may refer to include:

Urologist: Urologists specialise in the urinary system, diagnosing and treating conditions affecting the bladder, kidneys, and urethra. If symptoms suggest something structural or require tests like a cystoscopy, this is who we’d see.

Urogynaecologist: Urogynaecologists focus on bladder and pelvic floor issues linked to hormonal changes, childbirth, or menopause. If leaks, prolapse, or pelvic floor dysfunction are part of the problem, this specialist can offer tailored support and treatments.

Gynaecologist: If bladder symptoms are linked to hormonal changes, pelvic organ prolapse, or other gynaecological conditions such as endometriosis, a referral to a gynaecologist may be appropriate.

Pelvic Health Physiotherapist: Often recommended for stress incontinence, pelvic floor dysfunction, or postnatal recovery, a pelvic health physiotherapist can assess muscle strength and offer exercises tailored to our needs.

Continence Nurse Specialist: Many NHS trusts have specialist nurses trained in bladder health who can provide advice, bladder retraining support, and treatment options.

Neurologist: If your symptoms suggest nerve-related bladder issues, such as those linked to multiple sclerosis (MS) or spinal problems, a neurologist may be involved in assessment and care.

Colorectal Specialist: If bowel symptoms such as chronic constipation or faecal incontinence are contributing to bladder issues, a referral to a colorectal specialist may be considered.

Understanding a specialist referral, who we are seeing and why the referral has been made helps to set realistic expectations. Your GP may not know ‘all the answers’, but they will likely be willing to refer you on if needed - and remember you have the right to request a referral to a preferred specialist, under the Right to Choose scheme, too. It’s worth researching your specialist if you have an appointment coming up to understand their area of expertise and help prepare the right questions we want to ask. 

How to feel ‘heard’ and have your concerns validated

If you’ve ever left a doctor’s appointment feeling disheartened, you’ll know only too well the importance of having your symptoms and experience validated. So how can we ensure that our symptoms, pain and lifestyle impact aren’t dismissed? 

Bringing notes to your appointment, your bladder diary (or list of symptoms as mentioned above), and being clear and focussed can help. Stating facts early, and not downplaying our own symptoms (how many of us have replied to ‘how are you’, with ‘I’m fine’ - when you are anything but?) is crucial. If your doctor suggests leaks or urgency are ‘part of ageing’ or ‘not that bad’, you can be ready to respond with firm, but polite statements such as:

“I understand that bladder changes can happen with age, but this is impacting my quality of life, and I’d like to discuss treatment options.”

If a suggestion doesn’t feel right, asking questions can help you to assert yourself. For example, “Are the other options?” or “Is there a reason we aren’t considering [medication/physio/referral]?” puts the focus back on finding a solution rather than feeling dismissed.

Unfortunately, sometimes appointments aren’t as supportive as they should be - and if your  concern isn’t taken seriously, it’s okay to challenge that (politely!) 

If you feel dismissed, you can ask for a second opinion. Within the NHS, we have the right to request to see another GP in the practice or ask for a referral to a different specialist. If a referral is refused, asking for it to be documented in our medical records can sometimes encourage a more thorough review and can be useful for future appointments.

You can also ask for written information on what’s been discussed. If a doctor insists that symptoms don’t need treatment, requesting leaflets or NHS guidance on the condition can highlight inconsistencies and help support your request if it’s informed. Referring to NICE guidelines on urinary incontinence or overactive bladder can help, too - and it’s worth reading up on these in advance if you feel they may offer support in the discussion for treatment or assessment with your doctor. 

Make sure to attend your follow-ups 

Keeping track of your progress is important - especially if you have been prescribed medications, recommended that you do pelvic floor exercises, or been referred to a specialist for further tests and treatment. If something isn’t working for you, or you are experiencing side effects then it’s important to go back to discuss alternatives, rather than assuming nothing can be done. 

Follow ups are also a chance to ask for further support, including for your mental health, too. Consider asking questions such as “What’s the next step?” or “What else can we try?” for better support and results.

Jude’s clinically proven supplements give you better bladder and pelvic floor control, helping you sleep through the night and regain the freedom to live life on your own terms. With just one capsule morning and night, you'll have relief from need-to-go urgency in just 12 weeks.